Somewhere I belong
by Mizu-Tenshi
Summary: A place to belong...few find it Sometimes we become so blind by fear & pride that we loose sight of it Will Kai realise this before fights accidents & Biovolt tear them apart or will they all end up on their own or even dead? Warning: yaoi
1. Better off alone?

Mizu_Tenshi: Constructive flames only please, no ranting and raving.  
.   
  
"…" Speech  
'…' Thought  
*…* Implied words   
  
***********  
  
Chapter 1: Better off alone?  
  
Bathed in soft moonlight Kai Hiwatari stood leaning almost casually against the balcony railing of his   
hotel room. The wind's invisible fingers slowly caressed his slate blue hair and the sound of leaves   
rustling in the breeze made broke the almost perfect silence. On the surface he looked calm and relaxed   
but inside he was tense and submerged deep in thought.  
  
It had been three whole weeks since the world tournament and ever since his loss against Bryan he had   
been training harder than ever. He was so sure that he would loose his place on the team yet here he   
was still with the Bladebreakers only two months away from the next tournament in New Zealand. The   
thought wasn't exactly comforting to him, he had hated being on a team full of ammeters ever since the   
beginning and, even though they had come a long way, they were still clueless.   
  
"I'm only here because they still need me," Kai muttered. It was true, they needed him, he was still the   
most powerful blader on the team but as soon as they got stronger they would realise that they no   
longer needed him and they would leave him.   
  
It was not surprising or the least bit hurtful for him to face the fact that he deemed to be true. Others   
before had used him and then thrown away after he had served his purpose, it was like an unavoidable   
spiral that tossed him from one user to the next.   
  
'I'm stronger than that,' he told himself, he knew it was true, he was stronger than that but saying it   
somehow made it feel all the more real. He was better off on his own he had been used and wanted for   
the wrong reasons for too long, all he could do was rebel while keeping his distance from the world.   
  
'"Not anymore," he said. He was tired of being everyone's puppet. His so called team mates had   
convinced him that he was wanted, that's why he gave up Black Dranzer, he really believed that he had   
found somewhere he belonged, he was a fool. He was an idiot to even ponder the slight possibility of   
belonging anywhere. He was a stray and a renegade; he was better on his own.  
  
Humans must be constantly surrounded by others; they cannot live without another   
  
That was true. Humans depended on each other to survive but he, he was not trained to be human, he   
was trained to be a fighting machine with no emotions; he was not affected by that rule.   
  
There was once a time when he believed that one-day he would find his place in life but he was young   
back then, naïve and foolish. He never gave thought that perhaps he was just destined to be alone that   
maybe he might even be *better* on his own.   
  
He had believed he would find his place, a home, somewhere to go and someone to love him, he had   
believed all that and got his heart killed. He had believed in hope and then Biovolt came along,   
shattered his fantasies and opened his eyes to his inevitable fate.   
  
Looking back into the hotel room his eyes slowly skimmed over his sleeping roommate; he felt his   
hand reach into his pocket and remove a crumpled sheet of paper. Something was written on it in   
Russian but Kai understood it perfectly; his grandfather wanted him, he had a use for him.   
  
Kai balled the piece of paper and threw it over the balcony, he wouldn't let his grandfather control him   
anymore, he had to leave and start a new life.   
  
'There'll be things I'll miss,' Kai thought as he watched the sleeping figure, the slow and steady   
breathing and the aura of calm kindness that emitted from the figure. 'There'll be some things I'll miss,'   
he repeated.   
  
He knew it would hurt them to find him gone the next day. "You were going to hurt me, you might not   
realise it but you were eventually," he told not just the sleeping figure but the others in the rooms next   
to him. "It's only fair, I'm just looking out for myself."  
  
'If I don't take care of myself who will?' he wondered as he packed the last of his things and left. 'Who   
would care for me?'   
  
**************  
  
Mizu_Tenshi: Very short but it's just an opening. Tell me what you think. 


	2. On my own

Chapter 2: On my own

The sun rose in the east as it had always done since the beginning of time. Kai wondered around the almost empty streets of Russia while the sweet choir of birds singing their praises to the new day hung overhead. Kai looked at them strangely. Though he would rather stay human he couldn't help but wish that his life were as easy as theirs. It must be nice to be able to fly. A little simplicity had never hurt anyone.

"I can stay at a youth hostel while I search for a place to rent out," he muttered to himself as he walked, trying to make sense of what he should do next.

'And then what, Kai?' his mind snapped at him. 'And then what will you do? You've given up everything you had and now what will you do with your life?'

"It would have happened sooner or later," Kai murmured feeling stupid that he was talking to himself. Sooner or later it would have happened again. Just like it always did. Just like it had always done and would continue to do so. Sooner or later he would only end up as another tool. A means to an end just as he had always been used before.

Yet at that moment he could not help but wonder how everyone else was. They were probably still asleep, totally oblivious to his late night departure but when they realised he was gone what then? Would they come looking for him? Kai shook his head, he doubted that they would. He doubted they would even miss him. They would probably think he had betrayed them again and, to some extent, he had. He had left them; he had left them without a captain or anyone to rely on.

They would not miss him anymore than he would miss them he told himself confidently. He had always hated being on the team - that team full of idiots. They were so _noisy. _They were such a burden. Now that he was alone he could be free.

Yet still, something felt amiss.

There would be things he'd miss, there was no point in denying that but on the whole he was better off alone. Takao was way too annoying, Max was too hyper for his own good, Kenny was just too…Kenny and Rei…he never had any problems with Rei. Rei was the only one he could stand.

Kai shook his head in a futile attempt to rid himself of those thoughts. He tried to get rid of the doubting side of him, the side that kept trying to convince him to go back them.

XX

Rei woke with a slightly sleepy yawn as sunlight hit his eyes. He turned over in his bed, expecting to see the blue-haired team captain sleeping on the opposite bed but instead of the sleeping boy he found himself faced with a perfectly made hotel bed. Kai wasn't there.

Rei rose and changed into his normal wear. It wasn't that unusual, Kai always got up before everyone else to go train and didn't usually appear again until late in the afternoon but as Rei walked into the bathroom he noticed Kai's bath things had gone.

'Strange,' Rei mused as he walked back out. Kai's bag had gone too. There was no sign of the boy's belongings or any trace that he had even been there last night, as if the boy had never existed.

Rei panicked slightly, his logical side told him that there probably was some reason behind the disappearance of Kai's things but his instincts said otherwise. He doubted the others would have seen him but there was no harm in asking. He silently made his way to the next room and banged loudly on the locked door.

"Kenny! Have you seen Kai?" Rei yelled through the door.

There was a moment of silence then the rumpled sound of sheets being thrown off and Kenny appeared in the door way still in his pyjamas.

"Kai? No, I haven't seen him, I've only just woken up," Kenny replied blearily.

"Oh, sorry," Rei apologised and let the boy go back to sleep. If Kenny hadn't seen him he doubted Takao and Max would.

"Where could he be?" Rei wondered. Sometimes he wished that someone would attach a bell to Kai or something just so that he would know where their aloof and sometimes arrogant team leader was at all times.

Rei laughed at the thought of Kai with a bell around his neck but it died as quickly as it had come. Where was he? There was no note or anything to suggest where Kai could have gone. Didn't he care that he was making others worry?

It felt so strange to wake up and not see Kai there, sleeping soundly, to not even see traces that he had indeed spent the night there.

Had Kai gone back to the abbey? Had he gone back to Black Dranzer? Rei shook his head, Kai would never betray them, not again, but the possibility of it kept creeping into his mind. He felt ashamed that he had so little faith in the one person who had led the team through so much yet it was the lack of assurance that hardened Rei's resolve. Not wanting to wake the others, he shrugged on a coat and left the hotel to look for their elusive captain.


	3. The truth can burn

Chapter 3: The truth can burn

Max rolled over in his bed, a small smile plastered on his face as he snuggled deeper into the warmth of his sheets, appreciating the simple bliss which came with being warm and comfortable.

CRASH

Max jumped out of bed looking around frantically while Takao just muttered something and went back to sleep.

"Max!" Kenny ran in, fully dressed and with Dizzi under his arm.

"Hey, what's up!" Max smiled, rubbing the last traces of sleep out of his eyes. "Nightmare?"

"Please," Kenny frowned. "This is serious, Kai and Rei have gone!"

"Relax!" Max smiled, optimistic as ever. "They've probably gone to train."

"Yeah, I'd think that too if Kai's stuff hadn't gone as well as the fact Rei left his blade here and they've been gone for hours!"

"Who? What? Where?" Takao jumped out of bed, catching his leg on a snag in one of the sheets and tumbled to the ground.

Max bent down to untangle the navy haired boy from the mess he had clumsily got himself into.

"Rei and Kai have been gone for ages and so has Kai's stuff!" Kenny gave an exasperated sigh.

"Alright! Alright! Let's go find them," Takao stifled a yawn and marched out the hotel room.

"Hey, Takao!" Max called through stifled laughs. "Aren't you gonna get changed first?"

XX

Outside, Rei trod silently through the streets. People were beginning to awaken and with their rising came the noisy chatter, the whizzing sound of cars passing by and the smell of traffic fumes being ejected into the air.

Rei made his way past the crowds that were beginning to emerge. Constantly his mind would tell him he was overreacting; Kai could take care of himself better than anyone else could. He would give in and turn to go back to the hotel when the familiar nagging feeling would crawl back into the edge of his mind. The feeling that something was wrong, something you couldn't quite put your finger on.

"Of all the days he's chosen to be evasive…" Ray muttered. He couldn't help but care for the cold, arrogant boy with crimson eyes; they were friends all of them were friends no matter what Kai thought.

'If Kai knew I was worried about him he would probably scowl at my concern," Rei mused slightly, a mental image of Kai glaring silently crept in. Rei shuddered. If looks could kill Takao would have been dead long ago. 

Those cold and calculating crimson orbs hid inner flames but…but those flames were somehow missing something. They seemed more likely to freeze you than burn you; they were cold and emotionless. And then there were those blue triangles…why did he paint them on his face like that? It made Kai seem like a predator, something dangerous.

'Maybe that was the point he was trying to get across all along.'

He continued to wander along the streets, the task of finding their elusive leader temporarily drained from his mind and replaced with questions that he couldn't answer.   
He just couldn't understand why Kai acted the way he did, why he treated the others with so much disdain when they only wanted his friendship.

Maybe he would never understand Kai but he'd be dammed if he didn't try.  
Shaking his head he resumed in his course to look for the phoenix. Unfortunately, he had wandered too far; he had let his thoughts take him as they roamed across his mind and now he was lost in a country he barely knew. Looking around he tried to retrace his steps until he could find somewhere he recognised.

'Maybe I went through here,' he stared at the small maze of alleyways but did not enter. He remembered making his way through somewhere dark, perhaps that dark place he had so carelessly stumbled through were the alleys.

He stood at the point where the light of the sun met the shadows of the alleyways. The line was just inches from his feet as if daring him to cross them. If Rei believed in omens and symbols he would have thought that that line between light and dark was like a warning telling him to cross at his own risk, to discover the truth at his own peril. But it meant nothing. It was just a line that would vanish once the sun had set.

Taking a deep breath he stepped into the shadows like a brave adventurer taking the first step into uncharted territory.

As he moved through the alleys his sharp hearing pricked at the sound of hushed voices and then a loud clatter of trash cans being kicked. There was no logic to his thinking; it could be anyone yet somehow he knew it was Kai. 

Stealthily, Rei crept up to the constantly increasingly loud sound. The sound of a fight. He peeked over and sure enough there was Kai but with an older tougher looking man in a black suit.

Kai threw a punch at the man. There was the sound of a sickening crunch. The man staggered back, nursing his injuries. Rei wasn't sure if he should help Kai or stop the fight.

"I'm not going back," Kai stated firmly.

"Like you have a choice!" The man roared and swung a punch at Kai.

Kai ducked the oncoming attack and sent a roundhouse kick flying towards the man. The man grabbed the intercepting blow and twisted it. Kai fell to the ground with a loud thud.

That was enough for Rei. He had to help his leader; he knew a few moves too. Running onto the scene Rei stood protectively in front of the boy as Kai staggered and swayed to his feet.

"Rei?! Get the hell outta here!" Kai growled but the boy wasn't listening.

The man attacked with a vicious uppercut. Rei dodged back then darted forward, slamming his elbow into the stomach of the man and temporarily winding him.

"Rei!" Kai glared even more threateningly. "I said get outta here." 

"Only if you come with me," Rei said defiantly.

"I don't -" Kai was cut short as the man rose and attacked Rei. Kai blocked the blow and threw another punch this time sending the man to the ground.

"Pitiful," Kai spat on the defeated man. 

"Keep talking," the man rose again but all the fight seemed to have been knocked out of him. "You know what Voltaire does to traitors. If he can't have you, no one else will," the man staggered away with as much dignity as he could muster.

"What was all that about, Kai?" Rei asked curiously.

"None of your business!" Kai snapped back.

"I'm only concerned. When I found out that you had packed and left I was really worried," Rei winced at Kai's harsh voice.

"Hn," Was all Kai would give him.

"Well, lets get back and get you cleaned up."

"I'm fine."

"No you're not," Rei contradicted him. "You need to get those cuts cleaned or they'll get infected." Rei looked at Kai. Several cuts and bruises were prominent on his features and parts around his arms were severely swollen.

"I'm not going back."

"Fine," Rei sighed; there was just no arguing with some people. "But you gotta promise me that when you return to the hotel you're gonna clean those wounds."

"I'm not going back," Kai repeated. "I resign."

It took a while for the sheer enormity and shock of what Kai had said to fully register in Rei's mind.

"Resign?" Rei half choked half gasped.

"That's what I said."

"But Kai…why?" Rei looked at the boy through concerned eyes.

"Hn," was Kai's only answer as he moved past Rei but Rei moved in front of Kai's way, arms outstretched to bar Kai's path.

"Then at least tell me why, you owe me that much."

Still Rei stood there determinedly waiting patiently for  
an answer. Kai tried to move past but every time Rei just stepped in front of him again.

'You should have made a will,' Rei thought, standing up to Kai was the gustiest thing he had ever had to do.

Kai sighed in frustration; finally realising he couldn't get past Rei unless he gave him an answer. It would hurt Rei to hear it but it was the only way to get by and it was the truth. Why did he care anyway? Why did he care about a how anyone else felt? No one had cared for him.

'Burn him,' his cold, malicious mind told him. 'It's the only way you'll be free. Chew him up and spit him out.'

"You want to know?" Kai's cold crimson eyes met Rei's amber ones, crossing his arms he closed his eyes and said three words. "I hate you."

Rei's eyes widened. He felt as if the air had suddenly been cut off from his lungs. Kai had stated the fact in simple truth, in his normal cold uncaring manner but that wasn't what made it sting so much, it was that fact that he had been hit where he never knew it could hurt so much.

He was too shocked to react, letting his arms that were once held defiantly to bar Kai's way drop. They had given up and he was defenceless.

Nevertheless Kai continued attacking him with simple truths, not caring that he hadalready won.

"I hate the team. They're so stupid, so loud and obnoxious. I can't stand it anymore; having to look out for the team, being burdened with responsibilities I never wanted. They're just an extra load to carry and it's a load that's barring my way."

With that Kai walked past Rei, their shoulders brushed alongside each other for a spilt second and then he was gone. Then that crimson eyed, slate haired boy had gone…like he had never existed.

Rei's fists curled into balls. His head was lowered, still standing in his original position with his back to the disappearing Kai.


	4. And so it begins

Mizu_Tenshi: The song 'Somewhere I belong' by Linkin Park I'm saving for the end but it will be in   
there but for now I'm just gonna wallow on Evanescence lyrics. (I know, I know, I'm such a sucker for   
that kind of thing.)  
  
"…" Speech  
'…' Thought  
*…* Implied words  
  
******************  
  
Chapter 4: And so it begins  
  
Takao, Max and Kenny found Rei standing in the alleyways, his head still lowered, rooted firmly in the   
same spot he had been in before and as still as a statue.   
  
"Rei?" Max asked tentatively, as if Rei was a delicate porcelain figure that would break if he got too   
near.  
  
"Hey, buddy," Takao called. "Where did you go? Did you find Kai?"  
  
Rei refused to answer his enquiring team-mate. He continued to stare at the ground that seemed to   
interest him so much. Those words kept spinning and swirling through his head until they erased any   
other thought, all that remained in the cage of his consciousness was that one sentence.  
  
'…They're just an extra load to carry on my road to perfection and it's a load that's barring my way...'   
  
Sure, Kai had always displayed feeling of resentment towards being on the team, he had always   
distanced himself from the others but Rei had always thought that, even though he acted the way he   
did, that maybe Kai still cared about them. Maybe, somewhere deep down, maybe Kai wanted to open   
up but just didn't know how. What about when they had pulled him to safety when the ice had broken   
on that freezing lake? Had he always thought of them as burdens? Had he just gotten sick of them and   
decided to leave?  
  
'And what about me?' Rei wanted to say desperately but he had lost his voice and couldn't find it again,   
it had gone with the phoenix. 'What about me? Was that what you always saw me as, a burden? Didn't   
you even care the slightest bit about the team?'  
  
He wished he never knew that, he wished he'd never found Kai, he was forced to learn a truth he'd   
rather stay ignorant of and it wasn't fair.  
  
"Hey, I said, did you find Kai?" Takao repeated.  
  
"Yeah, I found him," Rei clenched and unclenched his fists. "I found him alright."  
  
'…And then I lost him.'  
  
"Err, great!" Takao smiled nervously. "So…why so down?"  
  
"Takao..." Kenny warned him not to say anything stupid.  
  
"He resigned," Rei almost choked up the words, using all his strength to keep his voice steady, he didn't   
want to go into details about it or what Kai had said.  
  
'…I hate you…'  
  
Kai hated him? Rei's logic tried to reassure him that it was nothing personal; hadn't Kai hated   
everyone?   
  
"What do you mean he resigned?" Max gasped, unable to believe what he was hearing from the   
Chinese boy. "He just got up and left? So close to the New Zealand tournament?"  
  
"No guys!" Takao shook his head defiantly. "Kai would never do that! He wouldn't betray us again!   
Not after everything, there has to be a reason to it!"  
  
Rei wished he had as much blind faith as Takao but then again, Takao hadn't been there to hear Kai's so   
called 'confession.'  
  
"What are we gonna do now, guys?" Max asked. "We've got no captain, no extra team-mate and the   
tournament isn't too far away!"   
  
"Well Mr. Dickinson will provide us with another team-mate, I'm sure of that," Kenny stated firmly. "I   
just want to know why Kai left."  
  
"He hated us, we were burdens," Rei whispered, finally allowing himself to walk away, not caring   
where he was going or what would happen next.  
  
~ Wherever the hell Kai is ~  
  
Kai stared up at the cloudy yet sunny sky, the whole city was like a perfect painting of peace and   
serenity. He was so out of place in this portrait full of busy, content people scurrying to get on with   
their own lives. He was shrouded in shadow; it consumed him, and blocked him off from the rest of the   
world…yet it also protected him.  
  
'The human race is cursed with inevitable spirals of fate. It is fate that dictates that we must hurt each   
other to survive yet this curse can be turned into a blessing; this curse can make us strong.'   
  
Those sayings and chants he was taught when he was young came flooding back into his mind; the   
familiar nostalgic feeling almost made him nauseous. In a strange way he was grateful that Biovolt had   
made him strong, helped him to build up a wall of inky blackness to protect himself from things others   
couldn't handle yet at the same time he hated them. He hated his inability to let others close to him; he   
hated the beatings, the brainwashing, and the greed that spurred their company.   
  
'…You know what Voltaire does to traitors, if he can't have you no one will…'   
  
Kai shook his head, his slate bangs gently falling across his face with each movement. Letting a sigh   
escape from his lips he leaned against a shop wall, crossing his arms and tilting his head back to stare at   
the endless sea of blue. They were coming after him, they were coming to either drag him back to his   
grandfather or kill him.  
  
'Let them come,' Kai's mind said confidently.  
  
He wasn't afraid of death, he had been taught not to fear it; it was another inevitability. He still had no   
where to stay, there were no empty apartments, only people looking for a room mate and he wasn't too   
keen on staying with a complete stranger.   
  
'Maybe I'll book another hotel room.'  
  
A different hotel from the one his former team-mates were staying in of course. He didn't want them to   
ask him all those awkward and annoying questions they were bound to ask. Rei would tell them of his   
resignation; maybe he had been too harsh on Rei.  
  
'He wanted to know so I told him, it's not my fault,' his brain assured him. 'Who cares if he's hurt or   
not? He'll get over it, why should I care?'   
  
What would he do now? He didn't like thinking about the future because that meant thinking about   
becoming everything he despised. He had avoided the all-important questions of 'Where will you go?'   
and 'What will are you going to do?' There was only so long you could postpone those questions and   
for Kai now was the time he had to face and tackle each one.   
  
He looked up as a shadow fell upon him. What he saw made him jump back with shock.  
  
"What do *you* want?" Kai growled with as much hostility as he could muster. "If you've come to take   
me back to Biovolt you'll have to fight me first!"  
  
"I'm not here to fight you," was the simple and composed yet somewhat arrogant reply. "I leave that   
kind of dog work to the Biovolt employees."  
  
"Than what do you want, Tala?" Kai asked suspiciously. His eyes narrowed into slits but it didn't seem   
to unnerve his nonchalant company.  
  
"They're persistent aren't they?" The indifferent redhead smirked. "You know, they say that they're   
your friends but when the going gets tough they'll leave you just like everyone else has."  
  
"Is that supposed to make me feel bad?" Kai asked stiffly.  
  
Tala laughed quietly at Kai's discomfort. "No, it's not. You don't have any friends, do you?"  
  
"It's what I choose," Kai answered bluntly. He didn't know why he was taking Tala's bait so willingly.  
  
"Then whay do you do it, Kai?." Tala leaned on the same shop wall and turned to rest his ice blue eyes on   
the softer blue sky. "Why do you turn away from Biovolt when we all know you want the power they offer us.  
Is this some way of making up for the rest of your life? Atoning for the sins you commited?"  
  
"I'm not that weak, faith is for the insecure."  
  
"Of course," Tala smirked. "If we're God's unwanted children then so be it..."  
  
"Why are you here?" Kai asked, in other words he was waiting for Tala to leave.   
  
The redhead got the gist and proceeded to make his exit on the scene but before he left he passed Kai   
one last remark that made him think. "...Just remember, Kai, you can't wash away blood-stained hands with blood."  
  
~ Night ~  
  
Darkness enveloped two wary figures in black as they crept stealthily and silently through the bushes   
outside the hotel. The moon was full was blocked by dark foreboding rain clouds, trees moaned in the   
wind, swaying back and forth as if they were alive, even the stars had seemed to hide from the   
suspicious scene below.  
  
The two men were dressed completely in black, staring at the dark hotel rooms from their hiding place   
below.  
  
"Yes," one of them growled into a walkie-talkie. "We've found the room, we'll proceed tomorrow."  
  
Clicking the device off the figure signalled to his comrade to leave. They would continue with the   
rising sun.   
  
*************************  
  
Mizu_Tenshi: Well that wasn't so bad but where is all my reviewers? Hello? Is anybody there? Dam, it   
looks like I'm gonna have to do some begging and black mailing.  
  
Shinigami's Voice - Wow! Thanks a ton! I love your fic! It's inspired me to do my own yaoi!  
  
otaku12 - Just wait and see what I've got lined up! I need more reviewers!  
  
darkarc - So you're a 'yes' in doing yaoi? Anyway, I really liked that fic as well but you wrote it so I   
suppose you can do what you want.   
  
Epona - Have you? Never mind. Please R&R!  
  
Sunset dreams - Yeah, I love Linkin Park! The song will be near the end though.  
  
Mistress of Anime - Thanks, please R&R!  
  
Krisnkriss - I know, Rei doesn't deserve all this bad treatment I'm giving him but hey, it's necessary  
  
S k y o - Really? You thought it was good? Yeah!  
  
Cho Hakkai - Who knows? That's just how he is I guess? 


	5. Innocent injuries

Mizu_Tenshi: This fic has been classed as non-yaoi. That doesn't mean it will definitely be non-yaoi   
but it's just a label until I decide  
  
"…" Speech  
'…' Thought  
*…* Implied words  
  
Disclaimer: Like I said before, I don't own any characters or anything.  
  
*************************  
  
Chapter 5: Innocent injuries  
  
Rei woke with a groan as the morning sunlight roused his senses. It may have just been wishful   
thinking but he couldn't help but feel as if Kai's resignation had been nothing more than a bad dream.   
Of course the absence of Kai's things eradicated what little hope he had almost instantly.   
  
They had told Mr. Dickinson, he had said not to worry, he was finding them a new team member soon   
but that wasn't the point. The point was that things would never be the same without Kai. Things   
wouldn't be the same without hearing him fight with Takao, force them through hours of arduous   
training or just stand there with his trademark death glare on his face.  
  
'You never know a good thing till it's gone.'   
  
Strange, he never imagined he would miss backbreaking training or being glared at yet he would give   
anything just to have Kai tell him to shape up or to be scowled at with annoyance.   
  
'Okay, Kai's gone, we need a new leader and a new team-mate. Mr. Dickinson will supply us with   
another team-mate but how are we gonna decide who the new leader is?' Rei wondered. Sighing in   
confusion he made his way to the balcony.  
  
It was bright and sunny; Rei squinted as his eyes adapted to the change in light. Below the roar of   
traffic made it almost impossible to concentrate. Still, Rei leaned on the balcony railings a little tensely,   
inhaling the cold yet fresh air that whipped across his face. Unbeknownst to him he was leaning on the   
exact same spot Kai was before he had decided to leave.  
  
Blowing raven black tendrils of hair from away his face he stared uninterestingly at the people below   
him. His head was spinning in thoughts. It had been a while since they had trained; maybe he should   
make the effort to get them to practice again.  
  
Maybe it was the shock that had made it do hard for him to accept Kai's resignation. Especially after   
Kai had returned to their team. After that event when they had all celebrated, Kai had even smiled a   
little, when everything seemed to be getting together it had been broken yet again.   
  
'But he had smiled.' Rei thought. 'He seemed…happy to be on the team, it brought us all closer   
together so what changed?'   
  
What was different? After Kai rejoined the team they had gone to fight for the world championships   
against the Russian team.   
  
'I sure don't want to be the leader.' Rei prayed. 'Maybe the new team-mate will take Kai's place as   
leader.'  
  
Rei's thoughts dissipated and were replaced with the sound of Takao's urgent yelling.   
  
"Hey, Rei!" Takao called, it sounded muffled and distant yet his voice was unmistakable. "I thought I   
saw Kai down there! Let's go and get an explanation of him!"  
  
Rei leaned over the balcony, he leaned so far he was afraid that he might fall over. His eyes dilated in   
an attempt to distinguish Kai's figure. His eyes locked onto who he thought was Kai. There was no   
doubt about it; the white scarf was a dead give away. Part of Rei wanted to just leap over the balcony   
and down to Kai but his logical side held him back.  
  
'You can't talk to Kai in pizza form,' Rei reminded himself. Using all the strength he could muster he   
tore himself from his spot and raced out of the door, his heart pounding in his chest.  
  
~ The Streets ~   
  
Kai barged his way through the crowds, trying to blend in as best he could as he felt the intensity of   
someone's vigilant eyes on him. It was not an easy task to blend in with the masses, especially with his   
white scarf billowing in the wind and his face contorted with disgust; everywhere he went he saw   
weakness and immaturity.   
  
'It's like I'm suffocating,' his mind spat. 'Not a single worthy opponent for miles at least with the team   
I could fight people who at least had bit beasts...'  
  
Kai banished those thoughts, he had admitted to himself when he first left that there would be things   
he'd miss but he had still decided he was better on his own and that was how it was going to stay.   
  
'What was up with Tala?' Kai mused. 'He didn't try to force me back or anything…well whatever he   
thinks he's doing it's not my problem.'  
  
He had to loose his silent stalkers. On the surface he appeared as he always did; aloof, calm and   
collected, it had been a great talent of his to project the same intense aura of control no matter what he   
felt inside. Inside his stalkers were making him uncomfortable and slightly frustrated. Those invisible   
eyes unnerved him greatly and made him feel like an escaped science experiment being hunted down   
by curious scientists.   
  
'You can't avoid them forever,' Kai's logical side told him. '…But if you're gonna go down then go   
down with a bang and be sure to drag some with you,' Kai smirked. He imagined it would be a little   
like those one-man-stands you saw in gangster movies but not as dramatic.   
  
"Kai!" That familiar and somewhat annoying voice sliced through Kai's thoughts like a knife. Kai kept   
on walking, wincing a little as Takao called him but whether guilt or annoyance had caused him to   
flinch none could tell.   
  
"Kai, you jerk!" Takao screamed at the arrogant boy's retreating back. "Kai, are you gonna tell us why   
you're resigning or are you just gonna walk away like the coward you are?"  
  
The last remark made Kai stop in his tracks, spinning round he glared murderously at the younger boy.  
  
"Since when did I ever have to explain anything to you? Why do you care what I do?" Kai snapped.  
  
"I care because you're a friend no matter what you may think, you're part of the team," Takao shouted,   
earning a few stares from people passing by.  
  
Kai's stomach contracted at the sound of that forbidden word 'friend' he had never used it on anyone   
and he had expected that everyone else would do the same for him.  
  
"Kai," Rei walked up too Kai so that they were face to face with each other, noting very briefly the   
discomfort he was feeling from the crimson eyed boy at having someone else at such a close proximity.   
Kai's wounds had not yet fully healed but most of the bruises and swollen marks on his face and arms   
had gone. Nevertheless Kai stood with cool indifference as he stared with haughty amusement at Rei.  
  
"Oh, are you going to try and beg me to come back?" Kai mocked the Chinese boy.  
  
'How can he look so aloof and calm on the outside? How does he do it? How does he convince people   
that he feels a certain way? Was this part of his training?' Rei wondered. Kai was the biggest living   
enigma he had come across, but for some reason Rei was determined to unravel the mystery that was   
Kai.  
  
"We just want to know," Max spoke up. "We just want to know what made you decide to leave us so   
suddenly?"  
  
Kai growled. Why were they so dam persistent? They didn't actually care, did they? No, they wouldn't   
trick him again; they were only trying to bring him back because they were lost without him. They   
would not need him as soon as they got a taste of real power. He wouldn't allow himself to be caught   
in the same trap he had fallen into countless times before.   
  
"Don't you care for you're team?" Rei asked accusingly.   
  
"It's not my team anymore," Kai turned round, signalling the end of the conversation he resumed his   
former course away from his old team but Rei barred his way.  
  
"No, not this time, Kai, you can't just walk away from your fears this time." Rei yelled.  
  
"When was I ever afraid of anything?" Kai look at the Chinese boy ludicrously.  
  
"Everyone's afraid of something, Kai," Rei reasoned with him. "What about those Biovolt men? I   
reckon they have something to do with your resignation, don't they?"  
  
"No," Kai denied his accusations. "You can think what you want but the truth will always be the same;   
I never wanted this team and I never will."  
  
"Kai! You don't mean that!" Max gasped.   
  
'What the hell, Kai? Why are you acting like this? Why am I acting like this?' Rei felt so confused and   
unsettled. He felt his anger well up inside as he tried to suppress it. Now was not the time to be petulant   
but he couldn't help it, he couldn't stand the way Kai was hurting him and his former team-mates.   
  
"Kai…I really don't want to do this," Rei said slowly. "But if I have to then I will!" Rei raised his   
launcher. "I challenge you! If I win you have to tell us everything and I mean everything."  
  
"You'd blade me?" Kai raised an eyebrow. Rei detected a bit of shock in his former captain's normally   
expressionless eyes.   
  
"Rei, let me blade!" Takao offered. "I'll teach you Kai!"  
  
"Not this time, Takao," Rei shook his head, his eyes still resting upon the phoenix.  
  
"Come," Kai ordered them to follow him. He led them through the crowds to a small park, it wasn't   
much but it would suffice for a battling arena.  
  
'This is stupid,' Kai's mind snarled but if it were the only way to get rid of them then he would fight   
them.  
  
The two boys stood several meters apart from each other and Takao in the middle. There was no   
blading dish so they had chosen a large slab of pavement for the arena.  
  
"3…2…1…Let it rip!" Takao screamed at the top of his lungs.  
  
The two blades flew off their launchers with incredible speed and sped forward to clash in the middle.   
Sparks flew from the two blades in the midst of the heated battle, each one spinning as if they were   
fuelled by their master's desire to win.  
  
"You're being very childish, you know?" Rei smirked. "All you have to do is give us a valid reason and   
we'll leave you alone."  
  
"What? Isn't me hating you reason enough?" Kai said through gritted teeth. He had to end this quickly   
or else his stalkers would find him.   
  
"Not for me it isn't," Rei replied.  
  
"C'mon Dranzer, let's end this quickly!" Kai ordered. The blade began glowing red and an impressive   
red bird emerged from the blade, spreading its wings to allow everyone to catch a glimpse of the   
majesty of a phoenix.  
  
"Drigger!" Rei summoned his blade. It went through the same sequence of events and then, with a roar,   
a beautiful white tiger leaped gracefully out of the blade.  
  
Each beast was relentless in their attacks; they fought furiously in the middle, causing long cracks in   
the pavement to form.   
  
"We can end this now Kai, we don't have to fight!" Rei cried from the opposite side of the pavement   
but he was pretty sure the stoic boy could hear even if he didn't respond.  
  
'I really don't want to fight Kai but if I have to then I must,' Rei said determinedly.   
  
"It's hard to say who's got the upper hand," Kenny informed the other team-mates as he typed furiously   
on his laptop.   
  
Kai's crimson orbs were fixed on the two blades battling in the middle. They circled one another and   
then came forward to clash in the middle; it was like a fierce battle dance. He balled his fists in   
frustration at his performance. He felt as if he wasn't giving it his all but that was impossible he had no   
reason to hold back.  
  
"If you don't fight with everything you've got then you'll always loose!" Kai yelled as he signalled   
Dranzer to go for one last attack.   
  
"Drigger!" Rei shouted his warning as the attack rained down on the tiger. Drigger leaped at the   
phoenix as more fire was let loose. A huge cloud of smoke erupted from the area but when it cleared it   
gave everyone a shock.  
  
There were two blades in the centre, around them was a huge crater inflicted by the battle. Both of   
them had stopped.   
  
"A tie?" Takao yelled in disbelief. "Then you'll have to fight again."  
  
"Forget it!" Kai snarled menacingly. "I've wasted enough time on you idiots."  
  
"Hey, who're you calling an idiot?" Takao yelled at Kai's retreating back. "Kai, come back here, I'm not   
done with you!" Takao raced after the slate haired boy.  
  
"Takao!" Max and Kenny yelled but he had already begun the chase.   
  
With slight reluctance the rest followed Takao.  
  
Kai silently cursed himself for stopping and talking, even though he had not said much or stayed for   
very long it was enough for his silent predators to track him down.  
  
They were getting closer with each heartbeat; Kai could feel it somewhere deep within him, it was like   
a sixth sense. He glanced around the street but he still couldn't detect anyone dangerous, cursing even   
more at letting himself become such a vulnerable target he headed for the alleys.  
  
'What happened?' Kai asked himself. 'How could you allow you have drawn with Rei? Shape up before   
you get too weak!' his mind snapped at him.   
  
Once he had reached the alleys he felt safer, the darkness seemed to be like a warm enveloping shell to   
him.   
  
"You can't hide from us, not even in the darkness," a man appeared from the shadows, sneering   
haughtily at Kai. Another man appeared behind Kai with a familiar facial expression as the first man.  
  
'Only two? Is that how weak they think I am?' Kai's mind said arrogantly.   
  
"Kai!"   
  
Kai recognised that voice, it made his stomach contract. It was Rei's voice.  
  
'No, not here, not now,' Kai silently prayed but it was in vain, prayers were meant to be said by those   
with faith. Kai had no faith. He believed in nothing except the survival of the fittest. Therefore his   
prayers were useless.   
  
"Oh, you brought back up did you, Kai?" The first man flashed a disgusting display of yellow teeth.  
  
The team stood in confusion at the suspicious show in front of them.   
  
"Who are theses guys Kai?" Takao asked.  
  
"Boivolt men, right?" Rei answered for Kai.  
  
"What!" Takao looked at Rei oddly. "How do you know? Never mind, if they want Kai to go back to   
that hell hole then they're gonna have to fight us!"  
  
Kai shook off a look of bewilderment from his face and replaced it with his normal, impassive   
expression.  
  
"I can deal with it, go," he ordered.   
  
"Um…maybe we should listen to Kai," Kenny backed off slightly. "We'd probably just be in the way."  
  
"What! You have to be joking!" Takao turned to face the brown haired boy. "We can't leave one of our   
own like that."  
  
"How many times must I tell you," Kai was beginning to get annoyed and the men were impatient. "I'm   
not with the stupid team!"  
  
'First he resigns then these men come for Kai, is there a connection?' Rei pondered.  
  
"Enough!" the first man roared and attacked Kai. Kai ducked just in time to miss the first attack but the   
second man managed to land a punch on his already bruised face.   
  
Max and Takao leaped on the man who had hit Kai. He struggled with them briefly before he was able   
to throw them off.  
  
Rei rushed to help Max and Takao screaming instructions to Kenny: "Go get some help or something!"   
  
The younger boy needed no second bidding; he was gone in a flash.  
  
"Dam, the brat's gone to get help!" one of the Biovolt men growled.  
  
"Then let's make this quick!" the second one smirked. Picking up a metal pole from the garbage and   
other trash that littered the alley he swung it dangerously as he approached Kai.   
  
"Kai, look out!" Rei shouted a warning. Kai ducked just in time as the pole soared across where Kai's   
head would have been.  
  
The man kept on swinging, Kai barely managed to dodge the random swings.  
  
'Go help him!' Rei's mind was screaming but he couldn't get anywhere near the man while he was   
swinging that pole round.   
  
"Help is on its way!" Kenny returned to the scene.  
  
"C'mon, we'll deal with this later!" the first man beckoned the other to escape with him.  
  
"Oh, no you don't!" Takao stepped in front of them. The man with the pole let out a growl of rage and   
swung the pole at Takao's head.  
  
"Takao!" Max yelled and pushed him aside. The pole hit Maxi's head with a sickening crack.   
  
"Max!" Takao caught the boy as he fell to the floor. The two men escaped as police and ambulance   
sirens appeared.   
  
******************  
  
Mizu_Tenshi: Sorry! I just couldn't decide who should win so I made it a tie. I was planning on making   
this into two chapters but then I thought that would be too boring so I turned it into one! Should I put a   
little bit of the next chapter in, like a sneak peek thing? To be updated: 23rd of April.  
  
angel yame - Okay, more Rei will be coming up. I personally liked the battle but I just couldn't decide   
who would win!  
  
camilleon - Thanks for the e-mail! They're greatly appreciated. You'll keep R&R - ing, won't you?  
  
enkeli - Yep, to be updated 23rd of April!   
  
HellFenix - Really? It's not crappy? Yay! Thanks a bunch!  
  
Mistress of Anime - Poor Kai, the world keeps screwing him over. Thanks for the review. More Tala to   
come!  
  
mespike4eva - Uh…so you like the story, right? Sorry about the cliff-hanger but I just love suspense.  
  
devildragon - Thanks for the review. Next chapter will be on the 23rd April, be sure to R&R!  
  
Sky Dragon - Thanks, this is actually quite fun to write. I enjoy torturing the gang! You will be   
forgiven if you R&R!  
  
MidnightLoner - I know, it's strange, isn't it? I have very weird friends.   
  
darkarc - Don't worry, I'm not mad. Well I am crazy but I'm not angry. Thanks for the review please   
R&R again!  
  
Hazel - Really? Wow, I'm honoured! Thanks and please keep R&R - ing!   
  
StormDriger - Thanks for the idea, I really appreciate it. Sorry for not using it but I've got the next two   
chapters written up already!  
  
Epona - Yay! Thanks for your review. Be sure to catch the next one on the 23rd!  
  
Lady Blade WarAngel - Thank you! I love your 'Tragic past' fic. I reviewed but I'm not sure if it got   
deleted or something. Well it was good anyway.  
  
Sunset Dreams - Thank you! Lots of surprises in store! *Grins evilly*  
  
Cho-Hakkai - Thank you! Please R&R!   
  
SNEAK PEAK!  
  
Kai stood up bravely; he mustn't show weakness or fear in front of his tutor. Inside his heart was   
beating twice as fast; this was his last chance at to see her…   
  
Mizu_Tenshi: Okay so that was a pretty lame sneak peek but I'm trying to get people hooked.   
Remember! 23rd April! 


	6. That's my secret

"…" Speech '…' Thought … Implied words

Disclaimer: I own nothing

* * *

**Chapter 6: That's my secret**

"This is all your fault!" Takao screamed at Kai.

They were standing by Maxi's hospital bed, he was currently unconscious but fortunately the doctors claimed that there was no brain damage. Even so, the dimly beeping heart monitor and the still form in bed made the scene seem much worse.

"Take responsibility for what you've done!" Takao sent a punch flying in Kai's direction.

Kai didn't make any attempt to block it or even dodge the incoming blow.

'You didn't have to follow me,' a part of him wanted to say but he kept silent and accepted the blows like some kind of punishment for not looking after the old team.

"Takao, hitting Kai won't help Max," Rei tried to calm the navy haired teen.

"You're right," Takao mumbled. His rage suddenly diminished and he let his arms rest by his sides.

"Do you want some time alone?" Rei asked kindly.

Takao nodded dully and watched the others file out of the door.

Outside Kenny mumbled an excuse, saying he had to check things with Dizzi and made his way out of the hospital with uncharacteristic speed.

Rei took a seat on one of the blue padded chairs in the waiting room amongst other worried faces; some people were even sobbing uncontrollably while being comforted by nurses. Rei wasn't sure what news they had received to make grown adults weep yet he could imagine it was pretty terrible.

With the exception of the silent and suppressed sobs of people around them the waiting room was deadly quiet. In the distance the wailing sirens would draw near bringing in another casualty but that was a rare event. The downcast looks, sombre of suffering people and deadly whispers of doctors made the room so depressing that it was eating at Rei's nerves.

"Don't let it bother you," Kai leaned against the wall next to Rei in his usual position with his arms firmly folded across his chest and his eyes closed.

'Don't let what bother me?' Rei wondered but didn't ask. 'Does he mean the atmosphere or Maxi's injury? Maybe both.'

The silence began to grind at both Rei's patience and his nerves. He didn't mind silence, sometimes it was a blessing but such a sombre silence was simply intolerable. He had to do something.

"Kai, those people working for Biovolt will be back, won't they? Maybe we should tell the police," Rei whispered so no one else could hear.

"No point," Kai said laconically. "Voltaire would just bribe them to go away."

'I wonder if he's got a place to stay yet,' Rei dared himself to ask. Maybe Kai could come back though Rei doubted Kai would accept what he would probably regard as charity.

"Kai…" Rei chose his words carefully. He felt as if he was negotiating with an alien country; any slight move could prove to be a serious mistake. "If they're coming back then shouldn't we change hotels?"

"There's no point, they'll always be able to track us down, they're after all of us now. Especially after your interruption," Kai cast an accusing glare at Rei. "If you're so worried then stick with me."

"W…With you?" Rei vainly tried to stop a stutter from escaping his lips. "As in going back to sharing a room?"

"If you want," Kai said, obviously bored by their fragmented conversation.

Inwardly, a triumphant grin lit up Rei's face. "I'm gonna go check on Takao, we can go once he's down." he informed their stoical ex-leader.

Kai just grunted his acknowledgement. He was secretly glad to leave the hospital, he had always hated the building; maybe it was because they reminded him of her.

Flashback

The hospital was always a confusing and sometime scary place for all children. People in suspicous white coats and masks hurried around, talking in a alien language, the screeching wails of sirens in the distance and people rushing around with injured people only added more confusing to such simple minds.

Ignored by everyone around him a crimson-eyed boy sat huddled in a corner of the hospital watching adults walk by with ever-vigilant eyes. He silently wished that people would continue to ignore him but his hopes were quickly dashed as someone's shadow fell on him.

"Kai, it's time," a harsh strict voice ordered him to his feet.

He stood up and nodded bravely, he mustn't show fear in front of his tutor. Inside his heart was beating twice as fast; this was his last chance to see her before he was confined indefinitely to Biovolt grounds but he wasn't looking forward to the meeting.

Each step seemed to take him no closer to his destination; the journey was tugging at his nerves and causing his stomach to contract.

"Five minutes," Boris ordered and shoved Kai inside the room.

Kai heard the door slam behind him. He was contemplating which was worse being in a room with a half-crazy woman or facing an angry Boris when a female voice cut through his musings.

He hadn't really noticed the two doctors in the same room with him but now he did he noticed that these two doctors were looking at him strangely.

The room was bare with a bed and chair being the only things in the poorly furnished room. The lack of furniture created a spacious feeling in the room but it made Kai's insides freeze, everything was white with no shadows to envelope him protective darkness.

"Is that the son?" The female doctor asked her male colleague.

Kai ignored their questioning and pitying glances as he made his way tentatively to the bed.

Lying on the white bed sheets was a frail woman, she hair was matted and greasy, clinging to her shoulder like lifeless tendrils, her skin was pale white and hung off her bones, her face was sunken and sickly, she looked like a zombie.

"Have you come to help me?" She rasped, her hoarse voice rattled and made Kai wince with each word she uttered.

"No," Kai stated harshly.

"No?" the woman began sobbing. "God, I don't want to die! I'm going to hell, oh God!"

"How can he be so cruel to his own mother?" The woman whispered. Kai caught her words but he chose to ignore them.

"He's been abused," the male doctor answered. "After the father left his mother turned to drugs and alcohol, she beat him everyday until social services but him under the protection of his grandfather."

"Poor guy, how can he stand it?"

'Pity, I don't want pity I'm not worthless like her! ' Kai thought angrily. He shoved his hands in his pockets in case he did something he would regret.

"Listen," the male doctor came over and patted Kai on his shoulder. Kai inwardly recoiled at such a close bodily gesture, but he didn't move away. "I know you've had it tough, you're very brave to have made it this far but you don't have to always be brave. Go ahead and cry if that's what you want."

'Cry?' Kai's face contorted in disgust at the repulsive word. How dare they even suggest that he was weak enough to sink to such standards.

"I'm don't want to cry," Kai glared at the two doctors with such ferocity that they were taken slightly aback. "I will never cry!" He vowed.

It was hard to believe that he had stuck to the oath to this day.

End of Flashback

Takao sat by Maxi's silent body, the blonde boy's eyes were shut tightly, and he was so still that only the constant rising of his chest signified that he was still alive.

"C'mon Max, wake up," Takao shook the boy lightly as if he was waking a child from a rich slumber but the boy didn't stir. "C'mon, snap out of it! Dam Kai! This is all his fault!"

Takao began pounding the side of the bed not caring about the jolts of pain that snaked up his arm.

Eventually his common sense slipped in place of his fury and left him with a nagging sense of remorse.

"What am I saying?" Takao wondered. "Max was the one who took the blow for me, it's my fault," a tear slid down his cheek. Takao wiped it away but it only triggered more to fall. "Sorry Max but don't worry I'm gonna get even!"

Those Biovolt bastards had to pay for what they had done and he wouldn't allow them to get their hands on Kai either. He had to look out for the team. Even if Kai was no longer with them he was still a friend and besides, Max was always the unifier but for now he would assume that role.

"I'll do my best to keep the team together, promise."

"That's good to hear."

Takao spun round to face Rei; he quickly wiped away the damp trails the tears had formed on his face.

"C'mon we're heading back, Max will be fine," Rei reassured the dragon. Takao nodded, somehow managing to produce a smile across his features.

"Yeah, I haven't eaten in ages, I need something filling!"

Night

Rei snuggled deeper into the warmth of his bed sheets, it was good not to be alone anymore but he also felt guilty that Takao would not have any company tonight.

Rei yawned and closed his eyes, letting his ears listen to the soft noises both outside and inside the room: the sound of the bathroom door opening, Kai's soft footsteps across the room and the balcony door opening.

'Balcony door?' Rei's eyes snapped open. He sat up straight and looked towards the balcony.

Kai was leaning against the railing, appreciating the cold night breeze. He knew the phoenix wanted his privacy to muse in whatever thoughts whirled inside his brain but Rei's curiosity overpowered him.

Still dressed in his night-clothes Rei slipped silently out of his bed and made his way to the balcony.

It was a remarkably beautiful night; the full moon made the sky look so much more cheerful, stars clustered around the pale ball, shining like silver diamonds on black velvet although Rei reckoned that Kai appreciated the solitude and serene atmosphere to the moon.

'The night certainly makes him look more impressive,' Rei mused. The golden aurora from the moon shone down onto Kai's pale skin, giving the impression that he was glowing while the stars shimmered in his blood red eyes and the night's breeze rustled his slate bangs. He seemed almost angelic if not in personality than in appearance.

"So what are you thinking of?" Rei asked curiously as he placed himself next to Kai.

Kai's only reaction to the Chinese boy's inquiry was no tense his muscles.

"Beautiful night, huh?" Rei attempted to make any sort of conversation but he knew he wouldn't get much of an answer from Kai; it would be easier to have a conversation with a wall.

'What does he want?' Kai's mind groaned. He wanted to be left alone with his thoughts for awhile but it seemed to prove impossible for him.

"Kai, did you really mean it when you said that you hated us?" Rei asked intently.

"Maybe," Kai refused to give him a straight answer. "Maybe I do hate the team and maybe I was just using it as an excuse to get away."

"Why?" Rei probed further. "Why don't you like being with us? Why did you want to get away from us?"

"Why do you ask so many questions?" Kai countered.

"Curiosity can't kill this cat," Rei smirked. "So tell me, why do you do these things? Are you afraid of something?"

"It's possible," the reply took Rei aback. Everyone was afraid of something but he never thought Kai would admit it.

"So what are you afraid of?"

Kai spun around to face Rei; they were so close he could see himself in crimson eyes. Rei was too shocked to do anything so he just bit his lip in case he did or said anything stupid.

"Isn't it obvious? You should learn to open your eyes more," Kai smirked and returned to the room leaving a stunned Rei to ponder over his words.

* * *

There, sorry if Kai was OOC in that last part but when I wrote this it wasn't. 


	7. Tell me

Well I'm back and here's another chapter sorry for not replying in the last chapter. The dam HMI (Her Majesty's Inspectors) are coming to my school so I'll be busy but I'll keep updating every week or so. 

"…" Speech '…' Thought … Implied words

Disclaimer: I own nothing

* * *

**Chapter 7: Tell me**

Kai's crimson orbs fluttered awake, his eyes opened slowly to stare at the ceiling. Slowly he hauled himself into a sitting position, where upon he surveyed the familiar scenery. Fragments of last night's episode slipped into the back of his consciousness and reminded him of the danger they were now all.

He couldn't understand why his grandfather was being twice as possessive as he usually was. Once Kai had completed his training he had allowed him to leave sometimes for months as long as his grandfather knew where Kai was and could call him back anytime so why was he so desperate for Kai to return now?

"Unless…" Kai trailed off. He didn't want to think about it right now. He needed something to take his mind of the memory. Swinging his legs over the side he cast a quick glance at his still sleeping ex-  
team-mate before shutting himself into the bathroom for his normal, daily sanitary duties.

Rei moaned at the sound of the door slamming shut. He rolled over in his bed, considering whether he should leave his warm shelter or not.

When Kai emerged from the bathroom he made his way to his duffel bag and withdrew a CD player from his bag, aware but choosing to ignore Rei's amber eyes watching him.

Kai browsed through the assortment of CD's lying scattered on the hotel table. His fingers rapidly flicked past each one, allowing him five seconds to glance at the title before moving on.

Why was he with the team? He had no right to be with them anymore, he had resigned. Why was he staying here? Maybe it was to protect them but then again he wasn't leader so he didn't have those duties anymore unless…

'No,' his mind said firmly. 'I'm incapable of feeling or caring for anyone, there's some other reason. Biovolt could gain the upper hand if they caught them and forced them for information, I'm just making sure they don't say anything to them, that's the only reason I'm here'  
Pleased with his new purpose for staying he continued to scan through the CD's. After much contemplation he selected one CD and popped it into his CD player.

"Are you gonna do that all day?" Kai asked, but if he was irritated he didn't show it in his voice of features.

"Sorry," Rei apologised; a tinge of pink crept into his cheeks at his embarrassing actions. "I was just thinking about everything that's happened, I bet everyone's confused."

Kai let out a small grunt to prove that he was listening.

"Well don't you think you should clarify things for them?" Rei suggested. "Maybe we could work out a plan."

Kai sighed, what were they expecting him to do? Have a huge mission briefing like the ones in computer games? Then again they were involved in this though Kai wished that they weren't, they had to know what was going on. The most logical thing to do, Kai assumed was to give them a sufficient amount of knowledge to keep themselves out of trouble but not enough for them to get too involved.

'Why?' His mind questioned his logic. 'Why tell them anything? You're not responsible for what they do or if they get hurt.' Kai shook his head to purge himself of such thoughts. If they knew enough then they should be smart enough to keep put of his business.

"Biovolt is after me, they want me to work for them again." Kai explained. "And if I won't work for them then I am to be eliminated."

"What?" Rei jumped of his bed. "Kai! We won't let that happen! We're your friends no matter what and we'll be here to help you. We won't leave you!"

Kai rolled his eyes at Rei's speech, the dramatic; friends-to-the-end dialogue that you found in so many movies was just too cliché. The saddest part, in Kai's opinion, was that Rei didn't realise that he didn't mean what he was saying to Kai. Rei didn't realise that one day he would not need Kai anymore.

'Only wanted when needed and then discarded later on…they don't even know that they'll do what they insist on never doing.'

"They're after the others too, after that interruption they must be pretty pissed. Tell the others to watch their backs." Kai informed Rei.

"Should we tell the police?" Rei asked.  
"The police work for Biovolt," Kai stated simply. "If I were you I'd go see Takao and Kenny, make sure they know too."

Rei frowned at the brief answers he was receiving from the phoenix. They were not enough to satisfy his curiosity and he still suspected that Kai was not being entirely open with his answers.

"Why do they want you back so badly Kai?" He had hit the nail straight on. He had unknowingly voiced the question that dwelled inside the crimson eyed blader for so long.

"Isn't it obvious?" Kai said, with just a small hint of uneasiness in his voice. Rei caught the hint.

"I know you're the grandson of the boss there and I know you're a pretty good blader but there has to be something else if they're prepared to resort to murder."

Kai inwardly sighed at being caught so easily. There was nothing for him to do but tell Rei the absolute truth. "When I was seven or around that age I was chosen to take part in an experiment."

Rei listened intently to Kai's words as he revealed a part of his past.

"Voltaire is an old man, his time to go is coming soon but he's trying to stay alive so he did months of research and finally the Biovolt scientists invented this drug to try and cheat death. They had told me that it was to help my skills but I knew better." Kai trailed off as if what he had to say next was too painful but Rei urged him on. "So…they tested the drug on me. The drug was supposed to repair and protect the body from the effects of ageing. It was to preserve the immune system, the brain, muscles, everything so time wouldn't make weaken me."

"Wait, what do you mean supposed?" Rei interrupted.

"It didn't work," Kai answered. "But they came pretty close, I think they're trying it again but they need to study me again to obtain the test data inside of me to help them."

Rei understood it now, this time it made more sense. Voltaire was obviously getting older and older and he needed that data to stay alive, he needed the information he could get from Kai.

"Wait," Rei said again. "If he needs you then why is he trying to kill you?"

"They need me alive but my grandfather's always been possessive, if he can't get that data then no one will," Kai spat.

"Kai…" Rei began but Kai knew what he was going to say and interrupted him.

"Don't be sorry for me, I don't want your pity," Kai said calmly.

Rei fidgeted in the silence that ensued. Maybe he should tell Kenny and Takao now; it would be a good excuse to leave not that he was uncomfortable with Kai but because the silence was eating away at him. Rei rose from his sitting position in his bed to get changed, when he emerged Kai was gone.

Later

They had taken it the information well considering the circumstances though Takao hadn't been awake yet so he had passed the information on to Kenny.

It was a chilly morning, the sky was a crisp pale blue and adorned with fluffy white clouds, birds tittered in the bleak morning sun, it was not as cheerful as the previous morning but for Rei it matched his mood perfectly.

He strolled down the park in the cold morning light, hugging his BBA coat close to his body to keep him insulated.

'Dam, why does Russia have to be so cold?' Rei shivered. He wanted nothing more than to go back to the hotel and snuggle up in bed again but he couldn't. He was supposed to see Max today though Max wouldn't be able hear or see him he might just be able to appreciate the presence of someone close to him.

'Just my luck I was supposed to go with Takao to see Max but it looks like I'll be going on my own until he wakes.'

There was no snow on the ground but patches of detestable frost lay over the ground and over benches and trees. The cold air nipped Rei's bare hands with their frozen teeth and the white wind swirled around him in cold blasts, sending his hair billowing into the air.

Even though exiting the park meant that he was a little closer to a warm building he couldn't help feel a little sad that he was leaving such a nice and tranquil retreat. He turned to imprint the location of the park in his mind; he had to remember that place for future reference.

"Now!" Someone shouted. As Rei spun round to meet two large figures, before he could react to the situation a damp cloth was pressed against his nose and mouth.

Amber eyes shot open and then almost instantly drifted shut. He felt suddenly sleepy as he struggled to stay conscious but it was too hard.

One of the men caught Rei's limp body and dragged the boy into the back of a nearby van. They then hopped into the white van before driving off.

Kai could remember this park from long ago, though his memory was still fuzzy the feeling of the fresh, crisp morning air against his skin and the soft crunch of frost being crushed under foot brought back those familiar, nostalgic memories.

'I think this is the only part of my childhood that doesn't include beating, punishing or training…oh wait, I think Boris made me knock down a couple of trees with my blade somewhere around here,' Kai continued to muse as he reached the end of the park.

The stroll through the park had been too short but it was somewhat pleasant; a feeling he had not experienced in for a long time.

'This is a good place to come and clear your mind,' Kai considered walking back through the park just to be able to appreciate the calm serenity once more but he had no time for such trivial things.

'Who wants a bunch of amateurs dragging you down? It's best if I leave after everything is over,' Kai's mind wandered to the subject of his former team. 'They say they care and maybe they do now but they won't in a few months, they're just use me and discard me…just like Hikaru."

As he walked he noticed two men in black load something into the back of a van. His eyes widened as he caught sight of raven black hair but before he could do anything they drove off.

"Taxi!" Kai yelled. A yellow taxi parked in front of Kai, there were always taxi's on the move around Russia so it wasn't surprising to find one so quickly.

"Where to?" The taxi driver awaited directions. Kai spoke a few words in Russian to the taxi driver and he began to drive.

Unknown location

Rei was immediately greeted with a splitting headache as his eyes drifted open. Everything looked blurry and sounded muffled, it took a while for his eyes to adjust to his surroundings and his hearing to recover fully.

Once he could see well or at least well enough he scanned his surroundings. He guessed he was in some sort of abandoned building. The room was cold and bare with dust covering most of the dilapidated building, the windows were all broken and boarded up, there was no carpet, only a stone floor with scattered fragments of glass strewn across it and the once painted walls were peeling and leaking in some places. The only thing intact was the door and that too was filthy.

Rei tried to move but his muscles ached with fatigue and his legs and hands were bound with thick cord. Slowly he recalled the last moments before he had lost consciousness. The two men were definitely working for Biovolt but what did they want from him?

'…They're after the others too, after that interruption they must be pretty pissed. Tell the others to watch their backs…'

Rei groaned at his own laxity, he had totally disregarded all of Kai's warnings. How could he be so careless? He had to escape before the men came back but how? Then something clicked. He lay down on the dirty floor and rolled in the direction of the broken glass.

'And I just had a shower too,' Rei moaned. 'Well it was convenient for them to leave glass all over the place, Kai was right, they are idiots.'

Rei winced as he rolled over jagged pieces of glass as some of them pierced through his skin while he searched for an appropriate piece of glass.

Finally he found a large, sharp piece of green glass to cut his bonds. Rolling onto his back he picked it up with his tied hands and began working immediately on sawing through the cord.

"Hey, what are you doing?" One of the men approached Rei suspiciously as he shut the door behind him.

Rei dropped the piece of glass in shock; it fell to the ground with a slight ping sound.

"Hey, what was that?" The guard was alerted by the minor sound and advanced even further.

Rei silently cursed his clumsiness; he cast a watchful eye on the advancing guard as he groped around for the glass behind his back.

'Just a little more!' Rei thought as he resumed sawing through the rope.

"What are you up to, brat?" The guard leered at him.

Rei's hands finally came free and he vaulted himself up with his now free hands, slashing the guard with the piece of glass across the cheek. The guard stumbled back and roared with pain, clutching his throbbing cheek.

Rei used the slight distraction to immediately begin untying his legs. The cord slid off but he hardly had any time to enjoy the freedom because the guard lunged for him. He urged his exhausted muscles to dodge the attack and make a dash for the door.

"Come back here, kid!" The man bellowed furiously as he chased Rei through the next room, down the corridor and to the door.

'Just a little further!' Rei assured his tired muscles as they complained and ached in their protest.

As he neared the door it burst open, making Rei skid to a halt to stop colliding into the person in the doorway.

"You're going no where," the person pointed a gun at Rei.

"Voltaire?"

* * *

I know there was no Takao or Kenny but I'm focusing on Rei and Kai for now. Oh and if any of you are wondering who Hikaru is all will be explained later. 


	8. Easier to run

  
"…" Speech '…' Thought … Implied words 

Disclaimer: I own nothing blah blah blah

* * *

**Chapter 8: Easier to run**

"Voltaire?"

The old greying man let out a cruel laugh, he was certainly old somewhere in his seventies Rei guessed yet still he such an aura of cruel power and sadistic greed. There was only a slight resemblance between Kai and the man in front of him to indicate that they were indeed related to each other. The atmosphere of control they were both able to project and the intense look in their eyes although Voltaire's eyes were steel grey and held cruel malice while Kai's were crimson and locked away a hidden flame it still greatly unnerved Rei. "So Kai's told you about me, has he?"

"He told me you were an insane bastard!" Rei spat only to receive a harsh kick in the mid-section, which made him keel over in pain.

"Now listen," Voltaire snarled, pressing the cold nozzle of his gun to Rei's stomach. "Lackey is going to ask you some questions," he indicated the injured employee. "You will answer all of them unless you wish to suffer a very painful death."

The employee retied Rei's bonds.

"We want -" Lackey couldn't finish because he was interrupted by the loud bang of the door bursting open.

'Too dramatic…' Kai assessed his performance.

"Kai, so are you willing to come back?"

"Yeah, I'll go back to being a dam guinea pig!" Kai snarled.

"That's a shame," Voltaire pointed the gun straight at Kai's chest, a triumphant look gleamed in Voltaire's contemptuous eyes.

Rei's mind moved a mile a minute. He had to do something before Voltaire killed Kai; there was only one thing he could do.

Rolling over, he sunk his sharp feline fangs into Voltaire's ankle.

'Yuck! I'm gonna have to wash my mouth out a hundred times!'

Voltaire dropped the gun in shock and gripped his bleeding ankle, throwing Rei off in the process. Lackey and Kai both lunged for the gun at the same but it managed to elude both their grasps and was knocked into the next room.

During the commotion Rei grabbed the nearest piece of glass a furiously began sawing through the tough bonds. Finally they came loose and he saw Kai staggering back as another punch was landed successfully on his chest.

"Run!" Rei yelled.

Kai paused to contemplate Rei's suggestion. He had never run from anything before yet his logic assumed that this time running would be the best course of action.

They sprinted out of the building and down the deserted streets ignoring the agonising cries they were receiving from their muscles.

Finally they entered the darkness of the maze known only as the alleys where they could stop and gasp for some well-deserved breath.

Rei found a narrow passage well hidden by tall walls and other passages to rest. It was enveloped in darkness, the cold stone floor was dry and the air was bereft of the repulsive odour of trash.

Rei let his legs collapse into a heap by one of the alley's high walls. He felt Kai's presence close to him; he turned his weary head to watch the slate haired boy. Kai's hands lightly brushed against Rei's arms as the stoic boy slowly unwound the cloth around Rei's wrists.

Rei could only watch with mild confusion at Kai's action but he trusted the boy well enough to let him continue with whatever he was doing in silence.

Kai tore the material into strips and began bandaging Rei's wounds in constant silence; his mind seemed so fixed on the task that it seemed as if he had forgotten about Rei's watchful eyes.

"Thanks," Rei said gratefully once Kai had finished. Kai ignored the thankful boy and moved to sit against the opposite wall. Once he had reached his destination he began bandaging his own wounds with what little remained of the fabric.

'Err…' Rei's mind faltered at the silence. He dared himself to speak but, much to his surprise, it was Kai who broke the silence.

"We should stay here for a while until the coast is clear," it was more of an order than a suggestion but Rei hardly noticed the difference.

"The others will worry," Rei stated, fully aware that Kai knew how the others would probably feel. "…But I guess you know best so I'll agree with you." More silence ensued their brief conversation. Rei drew his legs up to his chest, wincing whenever he moved a sore muscle. He began rocking back and forth out of simple boredom; his restless eyes darted this way and that until finally resting upon an endless sea of pale blue.

'It's still light, it must be only early afternoon,' Rei guessed. "Kai, I'm sorry for not taking more care," he apologised.

"Whatever," was Kai's gruff response.

"You keep saying you don't care but you came to help me," Rei smirked.

"Don't get too sentimental, I was only making sure you didn't tell my grandfather anything about me, it wasn't 'cos I cared if that's what you're insinuating."

"Like I could, you hardly tell me anything about yourself," Rei inwardly smiled at the denying teen, Kai would always be Kai no matter what.

"Then you should be happy," Kai said bluntly.

"Huh? I just don't get you sometimes," Rei scratched his head in confusion.

"If you don't understand then you should ask," Kai said abruptly. His willingness to speak was causing Rei great suspicion.

"Okay, then what are you afraid of?"

"None of your business," Kai smirked.

"B…But didn't you just - "

"Just because you can ask me doesn't mean I'll give you the answers."

'What?' Rei cocked his head to the side like a confused kitten. He dismissed the feeling with a shake of his head and decided to go for another topic.

"So, you must have been really into blading if you were willing to go with your grandfather to train at the abbey," Rei smiled, trying his best to make small talk.

'Huh?' Kai's mind said in confusion. Why was Rei asking? It wasn't relevant to their current situation.

Rei must have presumed that Kai's quizzical look was one caused by lack of clarity so he explained. "Did you really want to blade or were you gonna be something else when you grew up?"

'Yeah like I had a choice about what I wanted to be,' Kai's mind spat. He had always craved power but now Kai wondered if that was what he truly wanted or if it was a desire implanted by Biovolt.

'Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.'

Kai didn't know where he had heard that quote or why it had been buried so deeply in the archives of his brain but he knew it was by Oscar Wilde. In reality did he have any real wants and goals or was everything just a teaching he had been tricked into believing as his own? Was he just an empty shell filled with the ideals of Biovolt?

Kai shook his head; he mustn't allow himself to think like that, it would only distract him from his goal.

Rei watched Kai's unmoving features with amber eyes, he tried to stifle a yawn but to no avail, his body was worn from the fighting.

"Go to sleep if you're tired," Kai said.

"Are you sure?" Rei asked. Receiving an affirmative nod Rei settled down on the cold floor for an uncomfortable sleep.

Kai waited, his eyes never leaving Rei until he was certain he was asleep. He idly drummed his fingers on the stone floor, grateful of the peaceful silence that came with the now waning light but also bored that he had to wait so long.

Suddenly Kai's ears pricked at the sound of something moving down the alley, he scrambled to his feet and braced himself for whatever had made that sound.

It could have just been a stray cat yet somehow Kai's instincts told him that it was more than a simple cat. Taking a few bold steps forward he decided to search for the source of the noise though he felt slightly guilty for leaving the hapless Chinese boy but decided that it would be best to discover any possible threat before the threat discovered them.

Casting one last glance at Rei he walked into the depths of the alleys.

"Tut tut, you were the never the one for big scenes," a mocking voice rained down on Kai, causing him to jump back in surprise.

"Tala! Show yourself you coward!" Kai growled.

As requested Tala emerged from the shadows in front of Kai, his ice blue eyes gleamed with mockery at Kai. "Were you scared?"

"Of a peon like you? No chance." Kai retaliated.

"You've changed, the Kai I knew hated heroics," Tala smirked.

"I still do," Kai replied laconically. He hated their 'elegant' conversations, the ballet of spiteful words that each one displayed for the other's own amusement, he did his best to cut off the show of words but he never succeeded.

"So you don't call saving the little cat boy heroics?" Tala raised an eyebrow. Kai kept his lips pursed; Tala had put on the better show this time. "You've become soft, staying with you old team to protect them."

Kai remained silent, he knew that there was some truth in Tala's words. They hardly knew anything about him to tell Voltaire, he silently cursed himself for being unable to cut the ties with his former team.

"Kai, if you join us you'll have power, isn't that what you want?"

"Maybe," Kai did his best not to say too much. The slightest word could loose the game for you and he knew from watching Tala before that Tala was excellent at twisting and poisoning his words.

"You don't like your grandfather, do you? To be honest, neither do I."

Kai was taken aback by Tala's statement but he refused to allow the shock to creep over his face. For once Tala was being honest; it was a first for him.

"I'm planning to over throw Voltaire and Boris, you help me take over Biovolt and I'll help you get rid of Voltaire, all you have to do is a little role playing, just act as if you want to go back."

"And let them experiment on me?" Kai said ludicrously though he was thinking deeply about Tala's offer.

"You can avoid that," Tala shrugged. Kai remained thoughtful. He could fool them for a while and once Voltaire had been exposed he would take down Tala as well but what if this was a trick? What about his former team-mates?

"What about them?' Kai's brain asked. 'The only way you're gonna be free is to cut those ties and this is your only chance!'

"You don't want to fall in the same old trap, do you Kai?" Tala continued. "You think that after Hikaru…"

"Don't!" Kai raised his voice for once in the whole of that day.

"Think about it," Tala smirked. "You stay with your team and you'll end up being used, you go to Voltaire and you'll be manipulated, you can't break free because you'll just be tracked down. The only way to end your little cycle is to get rid of Voltaire."

It did make sense but his deep mistrust for Tala made him indecisive.

"You've always been a fighter, Kai," the red haired boy continued. "You've always been rebellious and defiant but do you have the strength to defy this fate that you seem to caught in? Can you avoid the inevitable? All you have to do is join me and leave your old team behind."

"Fine, I don't care about them anyway. As soon as Voltaire is dealt with I'm outta here."

"Of course," Tala gave a triumphant smirk. "Did you really think I wanted you to stick around after I have what's mine?"

Kai just shrugged all his loathing for the red haired boy was lurking behind a mask of cool indifference. Tala coaxed the suspicious teen to follow him out of the alleys.

'I hope Rei can find his way back,' Kai prayed but as soon as the words crossed his mind he wondered why he had bothered to save the Chinese blader.

Unknown to the two rival teens a pair of amber eyes were watching their departing backs.

"…Kai…I hope you know what you're doing."

* * *

I know, don't kill me! That chapter was confusing and frustrating but…err…it will get better and…err…don't kill me. 


	9. Creating conflict

Takao's eyes are brown, right? If not then please tell me. 

"…" Speech '…' Thought … Implied words

Disclaimer: Once again I own nothing and earn nothing from this

* * *

**Chapter 9: Creating conflict**

It was about midday when the sun finally managed to harness it's full power and sent a ray of bright light blasting down on the earth, dissolving the last patches of frost and filtering through the windows of the hotel.

It's light must have stirred Takao's senses because his eyelids began to flutter, they opened wearily to reveal chocolate brown orbs. With a groan he hoisted himself into a sitting position, rubbing out the last traces of sleep from his eyes when realisation hit him like a sledgehammer.  
"Crap! What time is it? Kenny!" Takao bellowed for his friend.

"What?" Kenny dashed into the room with a worried look on his face, his hair was tousled and he looked like he had been working late in the night. As soon as he realised there was nothing to be alarmed about his expression turned to one of slight irritation.

"What time is it?" Takao asked urgently.

"It's midday," Kenny groaned as he left Takao's room.

"Midday?" Takao spluttered in shock. "No! I was supposed to go see Max today with Rei! He must have left by now!"

He sprang out of bed and dressed quickly when a loud rumble from his stomach reminded him that he hadn't had breakfast yet.

'Hmmm, breakfast or Max? Breakfast or Max?'

Outside the alleys

Rei idly kicked a loose stone on the floor as he left his dark refuge in favour for the light streets of Russia.

Of course he had heard everything Kai had said, he had woken just in time to hear everything. It had hurt. It had been painful to see Kai betray him again but what hurt Rei the most was that he was no longer surprised at Kai's actions.

He wasn't sure whether he was angry or just hurt: maybe a bit of both. True, Kai had helped him in the old building that showed that Kai cared but Kai leaving him again contradicted Rei's more positive thoughts. His brain was exploding trying to figure out Kai's reasoning behind his actions but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't understand the stoic boy.

'…If you don't understand then you should ask…'

Rei frowned. Last time he had asked Kai something he had received no answers just a very crude hint of Kai's logic. This time he would get the answers he was searching for.

Hospital

Takao gulped down his last sandwich as he entered the white building. The hospital gave him the creeps; it was so disgustingly…hygienic if that made any sense. It probably didn't.

Takao scanned his surroundings with unease; there were doctors wheeling patients in and out on wheelchairs, most people were in a rush, which just made Takao even more confused.

"Lost?"

Takao spun around to come face to face with a tall doctor with long blonde hair and green eyes. She smiled cheerfully, revealing a set of dazzling white teeth. Her blonde hair was tied up in what looked to Takao like a shower cap. He was sure he had never seen her before yet somehow she seemed strangely familiar.

"I…I'm looking for my friend Max Mizuhara," Takao faltered.

"Max Mizuhara?" The woman brought out a clipboard. "Room 134, your friend should be there. It's about time someone visited that poor boy."

"What? Didn't Rei come here?" Takao was slightly taken aback. "He's Chinese, about this tall, with amber eyes and lack hair."

"Err...I don't think so. Max is one of my patients so I should know."

Takao thanked the doctor when he suddenly realised why she had seemed so familiar. She looked like Maxi's mum: Judy. He felt a tinge of guilt creeping over him. He couldn't believe he had forgotten to tell Maxi's mum that her son was in hospital.

'It' not my fault. Normally it's Rei or even Kenny who does this stuff," he told himself but he couldn't stop the feeling of shame creep in. He shook his head and began to walk down the long corridors counting the rooms as he went by.

"134," Takao muttered. The numbers were in blue but the door was white; everything in the hospital was so white it made him nauseous.

What would he do when he entered? Screw that, what would he say? He was the one responsible for Maxi's injuries. He didn't know if he could face Max yet even if he was unconscious.

Takao bit his lip and took a deep breath, summoning all of his courage he placed his hand on the door. He stared at it for what seemed like ages, he wasn't sure if anyone else was staring at him and he didn't really care. Finally he managed to push open the door and stepped inside.  
Inside Maxi's mind

"This is boring," Max stated simply. It felt like he had been here for ages just sitting on a dark floor surrounding by inky blackness, he couldn't see anything except his own hands and feet, there was nothing else in all directions.

He had tried walking but he had found nothing and so he had given up. Now he just sat waiting for something to happen. His patience was slipping.

'I thought I'd be in heaven or hell by now. Where am I?'

He hugged his knees tighter and then rested his chin on his knees so that he was a compact ball. Slowly he felt his eyes drifting down.

Drip

The sound of water made his eyes snap open. He looked around but there was nothing yet he could still hear the familiar drip of water. Using his ears, he walked in the direction of the sound. His heartbeat quickened as each step turned into a large stride until he found himself running at full speed.

Finally he came to a stop. His heart did summersaults at the appearance of a stream. It wasn't much but at least it was something in this dark abyss. The water, however, was pitch black too and the only indications that it was a stream was the soft sound of flowing water and the golden glimmers of light reflecting off the pond.

'Light? What light?' Max wondered. 'There's no light…or maybe I jut can't see it.'

"That's correct," a sweet, almost musical voice echoed around the blonde haired boy. It was so familiar it gave Max the shivers, he wondered if he was delirious or if he had heard correctly. He looked around for the source of the voice but no one was there, only the flowing stream.

Max didn't dare to speak. He felt confused, it would have been so straightforward if he had just plunged down to hell or flew up to heaven. Why did he have to go through this ordeal first? What was the point of staying in a barren and dark land?

"This is where you must decide," the voice came again. This time Max knew where he had heard that voice before. He couldn't believe that he had not been able to recognise it before.

"M…Mom?" He didn't know why his voice was shaken, he didn't even know why he felt scared when he heard that voice, weren't familiar voices meant to be comforting?

"You can decide whether you want to keep living in the material realm or to pass on into the spiritual world," the voice explained.

Max felt a little relieved: finally someone was explaining what to do! His answer was simple, he couldn't believe it had taken so long for whatever authority inhabited this dark void to ask him such a simple question.

"Yes," he replied. "Of course I want to keep living with my friends and family." What kind of question was that? No one wanted to die and he was perfectly happy with his life. He had friends, family, a career doing what he loved and most of all a place where he belonged.

There was no sound except the running water; it made Max wonder what a stream was doing in such an unlikely place. Max shook his head and waited for him to be taken back home, back to his friends…back to where he belonged.

More silence followed, it seemed to expand across the stretch of endless land until finally a voice spoke. It wasn't his mother's voice but it was equally familiar, it breathed four words into the back of his ear yet these four words deeply unsettled the blonde haired boy.

"You're a bad liar."

Outside

"You remember what to do, right?" Tala kept on questioning the slate haired boy.

"Yes!" Kai snapped in annoyance. "I'll meet you there. Can you leave now?"

Tala glared back at the crimson-eyed boy and grudgingly left Kai alone in the middle of a crowded street. Alone even though people surrounded him he was still alone.

Kai watched Tala walk away. He felt some kind of rude gesture would be appropriate but he could think of none so instead he turned away.

He kept his head down as people rushed past him, caught up in their own little world, one man even barged into his shoulder and walked off without apologising.

"Idiot," Kai muttered darkly to the back of the man. He was about to continue throwing his silent insults when yet another person ploughed into him.

Kai's temper rose. He was not in the mood, especially when he had his grandfather to see.

"Watch where you're going, you - " Kai stopped.

"Sorry Kai," A black haired, amber eyed boy apologised.

"Hn," was Kai's only reply.

"Actually, I'm glad I bumped into you," Rei became serious. "I heard what you and Tala said. He's right…for once he's right, nothing's written in stone, you can still defy fate."

Kai didn't say anything. Deep inside he was shocked that Rei had heard the conversation between Tala and himself.

"Kai, I don't know how to prove to you that we won't use you or abandon you," Rei desperately cried. "What about the frozen lake? We could have left you there; you weren't part of our team but we didn't, we helped you, doesn't that mean anything?"

Kai remained silent. Rei had a point but still he knew all about fate and he knew that time changed things.

"Kai, there's no such thing as the inevitable if you can avoid it, you can end this spiral of fate. You can defy it! You just have to take your chances and do whatever it takes!"

"Sorry Rei," Kai granted the Chinese boy that much: an apology. "You're being blinded by heroic ideals; sticking with friends to the end, fighting evil together, I've seen it before. The thing is, when you realise that life isn't an anime show, good doesn't always win, when you realise this you'll run."

Rei gaped. Did Kai have such little belief in his team-mates? In his friends?

"Bye," Kai nodded curtly.

"No!" Rei grabbed him by the arm.

Kai would have swatted away the grip as if Rei was a leper but this time he didn't do anything.

Rei stood in shock at his own actions. "Kai…" he began as he tried to get over the initial shock. He didn't want Kai to go, it was madness to go to an insane bastard such as Voltaire but he also had other reasons for his protectiveness, a reason he couldn't identify.

'What the - ' Kai's trail of thought ended there. For once he seemed surprised and made no effort to cover it up. He felt warm drops of liquid splash onto his arm; he looked at them and then up into Rei's amber eyes.

"Why are you crying?" Kai asked, even more confused.

Rei blinked past tears that had somehow seeped past his eyes. Kai sounded so innocent when he asked that question; he really didn't understand Rei's pain.

'…No one feels another's grief, no one understands another's joy. People imagine they can reach one another. In reality they only pass each other by'

Kai shook himself from his trance and freed himself from Rei's grip but as soon as Rei let go he felt a little out of place but continued shaking off any feelings of unease.

"I have to go," Kai said solemnly.

Rei nodded and wiped away his shameful tears, what was the use of trying anymore? He was too dam tired to chase after Kai. Who knows? Maybe Kai would be better off on his own.

Kai didn't now what it was that crept into his ice heart. Pity? Remorse?

"Rei…"

The cat boy looked into Kai's crimson eyes; the sound of his voice made his stomach squirm. He couldn't take it anymore, the doubt, the fear, wondering how and where Kai was. He just wanted a little confirmation, a little closure.

Before he knew what he was doing he gingerly placed his lips over those of the phoenix. A light touch so silky and delicate, not pressing or urgent but it held a longing and silent passion that had been locked away for ages.

This was what he was missing; this was what he wanted.

'I want him…I love him…' Rei's mind slowly processed the thoughts. It took a while for him to realise that Kai wasn't kissing him back.

Rei shoved himself away, covering his mouth with his hand and his amber eyes wide, trying to deny what he had done.

"I…I'm sorry Kai!" Rei looked away from the slate haired teen. Not daring to look into those crimson eyes again. "Something…I…I couldn't help myself!"

Kai was looking at Rei as if he wasn't sure whether he was really there or not. Had he just been kissed…by Rei?

'A kiss…I never thought I would experience it…kisses are emotional…. They're weak but…' he stopped thinking.

Rei had always thought of Kai…maybe not in any way that surpassed friendship but it had all added up to love. Kai was…enchanting…his garnet eyes, his slate blue hair…he was his phoenix, his star.

It was just one shock after another, Kai wondered if he was dreaming, never had he imagined such events could take place yet they were, they were happening in front of his very eyes.

'Love…I've never experienced it before…what is love? Can I love? Do I love?'

Rei's lip trembled; waiting for the crushing blow but it never came.

"Goodbye."

* * *

Well there it is; this fic has now officially become my first yaoi. It's only mild stuff and sorry to all those who didn't want yaoi but I have to be democratic. 


	10. The Beginning of the End

Sorry about the late update only about one chapter left since I've been trying to finish all my fic things. Special thanks to darkarc for the idea! 

"…" Speech '…' Thought … Implied words

Disclaimer: I own nothing and gain no money by writing this.

* * *

**Chapter 10: The beginning of the end**

Rei was unable to move as he watched Kai walk away. He barely noticed the presence of another person in the area until he was tapped lightly on the arm.

"Rei…are you okay?"

"Huh?" Rei looked down slightly at the brown haired boy who was tugging his sleeve. "Um……yeah……Kenny, I'm fine…….fine," Rei zoned out again, looked back at where Kai had been.

'……Life isn't an anime show and good doesn't always win….…'

What was it about that sentence that got Rei? Was it Kai's tone of voice perhaps? Rei couldn't shake the feeling that something important was going to happen.

'…….Life isn't an anime show and good doesn't always win…….'

'……Good doesn't always win….…'

Rei knew.

"Kenny!" Rei suddenly sprang into life, startling Kenny. "Go to the hospital and get Takao, meet me…" He paused, where would Kai go to meet Voltaire? "There's an abandoned building a little way west from the alleys meet me there!" And with that Rei took of at full speed into the distance.

Kenny wasn't too sure what just happened but it had seemed urgent so he obediently ran to the hospital.

Maxi's mind

Max looked around yet he could see nothing except the light glistening of the black surface of the stream. Who was it who was talking? Why did they call him a liar?

"Who are you and what do you mean?" He said, shocked.

"You know who I am, and you can tell me exactly what I mean."

Max looked shocked. What was going on? And how could they know? No one knew.

"I don't have a clue what you mean, just let me go back!" he pleaded with the darkness but it just laughed again.

"What's the rush? You're not gonna be missed," the voice spoke maliciously. Do you really want to live? Go through the heart-ache and suffering of everyday life, if you pass on you'd be much happier."

"What do you know?" Maxi's anger rose.

"I know what you long for whether you choose to deny it or not," the voice replied. "You're that kid that listens to everyone's problems, the kind kid that always helps and comforts others but what about you? Why should you be burdened with their problems? Do you think they'd be so kind to you when you want to talk about your problems?"

"I like helping others," Max answered lamely.

"But you'd be happier if you passed on yet you can't because you'd feel bad about making the others upset. Can't you be selfish just this once? Do something for yourself, be a little selfish and pass on?"

Max pursed his lips. Why couldn't he be selfish? If he was to be happier if he passed on then why not go ahead and pass on? Why should the thought of his team hold him back?

"Come with me," the voice beckoned.

The earth began to shake under his feet as if yet another black abyss was opening its mouth to swallow him.

"No! I don't want to go, even if the life on the other side is better I still don't want to go!" Max called but it didn't help.

He had nowhere to run and so he plunged into more darkness, it seemed like he would fall forever into an unending darkness. Around him he could hear a familiar voice whisper to him and then fade out in little, incoherent sentences.

'Wake up…….'

'Don't leave me here…….the team…….falling apart…….we need you……I need you……'

'The team is falling apart….…someone to help….…please……open you eyes...wake up……wake up……'

'MAX!'

Maxi's eyes widened as light flooded in.

"AHHH!"

Max looked around, gasping as if he had not taken in a single breath since the incident.

He was in a white room, incredibly clean and bare but peaceful and tranquil at the same time. It was a welcome relief from the darkness of his dreams but what was even more relieving was seeing a familiar face grinning with happiness.

"T….…Takao?" Max rubbed his eyes to make sure he was not just imagining things.

"Max……" Takao's eyes were on the verge of tears. Suddenly Takao gripped Max into a tight bear hug.

"Err…….Takao…….I need air!" Max gagged.

Takao pulled away meekly, apologising while blushing furiously.

"Max……I'm so glad you're back, the team's just gotten worse and worse, it's never been this bad before!"

Max smiled, preparing himself to do what he did best: listen.

"Takao!" Kenny burst into the room panting. "Max?"

"Hi!" Max waved cheerfully.

"What's wrong, what's going on?" Takao asked.

"Rei….…" Kenny began to explain.

Abandoned building

Kai stepped in the building Rei had been caught in, behind his back he fingered a cold metal object.

Stepping in cautiously he saw Tala and Voltaire standing there already. A nod passed between Tala and Kai, knowing the ambush was almost in place.

"Well here I am," Voltaire said impatiently. "And I see Kai is here like you said he would, Tala," he turned to address Kai. "Drop that gun behind your back, Kai, you're out numbered."

Kai looked at Tala with furious rage as Tala and Voltaire quickly drew their guns.

"I should have known you would be too dumb and spineless to go against him," Kai snarled at Tala.

"You definitely have gone soft; letting your guard down like that," Tala retaliated. "You should never trust anyone!"

"Kai; I'll have that data even if I have to force you!" Voltaire warned. "But if you're willing to the cause then I'll take you back, of course you'll have to prove your loyalty."

"How?" Kai's eyes narrowed.

(Rei's POV)

I race through the crowded streets of Russia, my heart pumps with each movement. As I rounded the corner I reach the building and fling the unlocked door open. I was gonna run in further but something stopped me from proceeding onwards, namely the long revolver aimed straight at my forehead.

"I thought I said goodbye," I hear Kai hiss as the gun clicks.

"Kai?" I ask confused, I'd probably be shitting myself right now but I know Kai and I know he would never kill someone.

Behind me I can hear the door open again and Tala and Voltaire raise their guns too. Crap, it doesn't take a genius to figure out who's behind me; it has to be Takao and Kenny.

(Normal POV)

"Kai…." Rei breathed. "You won't kill me."

Kai pointed the gun at Rei's forehead so the cold metal nozzle was pressing against his head. "What makes you so sure?"

"I know you," Rei replied confidently. "This isn't the way you want it to be, you don't want to go back and let Voltaire get that data."

"There's no other way, I've given up trying to cross the stars," Kai shrugged.

"No, don't ever give up," Rei ordered. "You're stronger than all of us put together, you can defy fate if you want and if you can't seem to make that final push then feel free to borrow some of our strength."

"Yeah Kai, we won't screw you over like your grandfather!" Takao piped in.

"Shut up!" Voltaire growled then turned to address Kai. "Kai, do what you have been ordered to do."

"Kai," another voice called. It was Max. Both Rei and Kai were evidently shocked, wasn't max supposed to be in hospital?

"Kai," Max called again. "When I was in hospital I was told that I would be happier if I passed on but I couldn't, do you know why? Because we all share a heart, we're only complete when together and when one tries to leave it's like only a having a small fragment of a heart. We can't survive like that, that's why we always end up back together!"

There was silence after Maxi's little speech.

'Is it true?' Kai wondered. 'Can a combined heart defy fate?'

"Kai!" Voltaire's harsh voice brought him back to earth.

'Can I feel something more than hate? I never thought I could experience something like friendship, it was meant to be weak, it was meant to be unreal!'

"Kai……" Rei looked at the crimson eyed boy cautiously. "Come back to us."

'If I go back what will happen?' Kai's mind continued to argue with him. 'How do I get us out of this mess? I can't believe I even got so far but now we'll never get out of it and it's my fault for getting them messed up in my problems.'

"Rei.…" Kai finally spoke. "You're not wrong. Fate can be defied but there's gotta be a sacrifice in order to avoid the inevitable." He turned to Voltaire, "You're not getting this data!" He yelled.

What happened next was hard to describe in chronological order but what most of them thought happened first was Kai taking the gun away from Rei's head and spun it round to face his chest.

Voltaire ran to stop Kai and prevent loss of valuable data while Tala and the rest of the Bladebreakers stood too shocked to do anything.

Then the blast came and Kai was on the floor covered in his own blood.

"Kai!" Rei ran to the side of the fallen boy, kneeling in a pool of blood by Kai.

Voltaire growled with anger at loosing the data that was fading away with the slate haired teen and turned and ran out the back door.

"Kai!" Takao, Max and Kenny rushed over but gave Rei some space and didn't kneel down.

'They still care?' Was the one thought that passed through his mind.

Tala was uncertain of whether he should follow Voltaire or stay here. In the end he decided to follow but not before he tossed Rei his mobile. "Call for an ambulance on this," Tala ordered and then he too left out the back.

Rei grabbed the phone and began rapidly dialling but a gloved hand clasped firmly around his and a weary voice said "No, it's better this way."

"I'm not gonna sit here and watch you die!" Rei cried as tears began to rain down on Kai.

"Crying…….I still don't understand why you do that," Kai smirked. "Think of it this way, I'm finally free, I'm not gonna be used or manipulated anymore. I can be myself."

"But you can't die," Rei whispered, he lifted the boy to him, he was surprisingly light.

"Why not?" Kai's voice was cracking.

Leaning down Rei placed his lips to Kai's. The others looked away but whether because they were sad, disgusted, ashamed or just thought it would be polite Rei didn't know or care.

"Because I love you," Rei murmured. "You belong with us, you always will,"

"Rei……" Kai was no good at expressing how he felt with words so instead he used all his strength to pull Rei closer and kissed

Rei felt Kai go limp in his arms, he pulled apart to see his crimson-eyed phoenix lying as if only sleeping.

Just like the phoenix that burns itself to death Kai had taken his own life but would he rise again from the ashes?

* * *

And there you have it. Don't worry, it's not gonna end how you think. My reviewers have all seemed to disappear so please, if you read my fic R&R or E-mail me or do something to let me know that someone out there reads this. I need you to vote on the ending. 

A) An angsty funeral in Rei's POV

B) Kai's recovery in hospital in Rei's POV


	11. The phoenix rises

Mizu_Tenshi: 100 reviews! Sorry for the delay but I haven't been able to upload for a while. Thank you to all those who reviewed. You should know that most people voted...B!  
  
Thanks to: simple_truth unipeg88 blue_sparrow Sighing Siren auska_trowa cruel_world Amber Dranzer girl kai lover evilpuppy Krixel Identity thief Panther darkarc The Ninja Taco Master CutieCherry anomynous Anime the Fallen Angel  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing  
  
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Chapter 11: The phoenix rises  
  
Light filtered through the hospital room in streams of gold, covering the figure that lay in bed with a soft yellow, aurora.  
  
Next to the figure was another boy with raven hair that shone in contrast to with the light and large, round eyes like amber orbs. Currently the boy's head was bowed as if he was already mourning for the sleeping figure and his eyes were dim and showed signs of sleeplessness and stress.  
  
"Why?" Rei questioned whatever unknown presence he thought was in the room. "Why did this have to happen? How did this ever happen? Kai....."  
  
'No matter how dark the night, morning will come....'  
  
It was morning but still the gloom of the past day hung heavily overhead like a dark rain cloud, following Rei and never allowing him to see the morning sun.  
  
Max, Takao and Kenny were still asleep, it was only four in the morning but Rei had not left Kai's side. It was kind of ironic that, as soon as one member got out of hospital, another one went in, this time this member might not wake up.  
  
'Why is it that anyone can look so peaceful when they're asleep?' Rei pondered as he gazed down at the phoenix.  
  
Kai was breathing easily, which was a good thing Rei assumed, his slate hair lay in a messy state and he was still stained with flecks of dried blood but never before had Rei seen Kai so peaceful.  
  
Never.  
  
"Kai," Rei clasped the boy's cold hands. "Do you think that you can escape this way? You can't leave us like this...with no one to turn to and no one to rely on." Anger surged up in Rei's throat, in a sudden rush of adrenaline he screamed at the unconscious boy; "How can you be so selfish?!"  
  
~ Kai's POV ~  
  
Huh, if I knew death was gonna be so boring I wouldn't have gone to the trouble of having such a dramatic end.  
  
There's nothing here; only darkness. Can't I just go to hell or heaven now? I wonder if Max had the same boring greeting...probably not.  
  
I think I can see something, I'm not too sure what it is in all this darkness but it looks like a bunch of trees.  
  
I move forward cautiously at first but then I begin to run at full speed. How far is this thing?  
  
Finally I stop at my destination but I think I must have damaged my head when I feel to the floor; this can't be right. There's a clump of trees looking very out of place amongst the darkness. I can't even see the ground so why can I see a bunch of stupid trees?  
  
Ah, who cares? Since I'm obviously gonna be here for awhile I might as well check it out. I carefully make my way through the trees, which leads me to a clearing surrounded and hidden by overhanging branches.  
  
"This place looks familiar," I mutter to myself.  
  
"It does, doesn't it?"  
  
Um..okay, that sounded familiar too. I look around in all directions but all I can see are the trees surrounding me.  
  
"Do you remember?" the voice says again. It's definitely female, it sounds sweet with a child-like innocence but not belonging to a small kid. It's hard to describe exactly but it brings back nostalgic memories.  
  
"Remember what?" I ask warily.  
  
The figure finally decides to show itself. I was right, it is a girl; a girl dressed in a white gown with dark mahogany eyes and pastel blue hair adorned with a large purple flower.  
  
"Me," she says shortly.  
  
"Hikaru?" I raise my eyebrows. (A.N. I told you I would explain who she was, didn't I?)  
  
"This place," she says, looking around us and ignoring my stares of bewilderment. "This is where we came to play as children. You found this clearing in the park and we used to hide here. It was so exciting, don't you think? To pretend that we were heroes off to save the world and live an adventure every day...like in those anime shows."  
  
I nod; that's about all I can do.  
  
"...But we soon learnt that life wasn't an anime show at all," she continues. "That day...October 13 1994.."  
  
"You died."  
  
"I was killed."  
  
"By Voltaire, by our own grandfather."  
  
"But before that..." She trails off. After awhile I realise that she wants me to finish the sentence but I don't say anything. She started the sentence therefore she must finish it.  
  
She must've got the hint because she starts to speak again. "We made a promise. Do you remember that? It was made in this clearing. We promised that no matter what Voltaire wanted us to be or to do that we would always remember who we were."  
  
I bow my head. How could I forget such a promise? It all comes back to me in floods of images. A star-filled, moonlit night, with my little sister, the winds was clam and the night was beautiful. It was a perfect moment yet filled with sorrow.  
  
"I never forgot who I was," Hikaru begins to walk up and down, occasionally tossing me the odd glance. "I was always myself and that's what got me killed; Voltaire was afraid I would 'corrupt' you. Your friends have been trying to bring out the real you you've buried over the years. They miss you, you should go back to them. You belong with them."  
  
"I can't," I admit. It's true; I can't go back, back to the dread of betraying and being betrayed, I don't think I have enough energy to fight fate anymore. You could say I'm afraid; go on, that's what everyone must be thinking now, maybe I am. Maybe I'm afraid of being hurt.  
  
"Don't be afraid," Hikaru approaches me and whispers softly into the back of my ear. "Not any more. You are the phoenix and just like the phoenix even when you're knocked down you'll rise again."  
  
"You look awfully sure of yourself," I look doubtfully at her.  
  
"Of course I'm sure...Kai Hiwatari. "  
  
~ Hospital. Normal POV ~  
  
Kai's eyes fluttered for a moment then opened fully to stare at the hospital room.  
  
"Kai!" Rei rushed to the slate haired boy's side, tears of happiness began to fall as he vainly tried to shake them away.  
  
"Rei?" Kai looked blearily at the raven-haired boy who was grinning down at him.  
  
"Kai! I'm so glad you're alive, you had us worried there!"  
  
"Hn," was all Kai could say but he was smirking.  
  
"Kai," Rei turned serious, wheeling a chair closer to the hospital bed he whispered to the phoenix; "Why did you do that?"  
  
Kai's looked away from Rei's amber eyes, afraid he might loose himself in their sheer depth. "Did you mean what you said when you told me you loved me?" Kai asked in a barely audible whisper.  
  
"It's rude to switch the topic," Rei gently chided him.  
  
"Look who's talking," Kai snorted as he successfully propped himself up into a sitting position.  
  
"You first," Rei said firmly, his eyes had turned hard, showing that he meant what he said and was not going to be easily swayed.  
  
"I did it because I could," Kai looked at Rei with the same cold gaze he had worn a few days back. "I did it because I'm tired of life. I've been used, abused, betrayed and studied like some circus freak all my life!" his voice raised with an anger Rei had never heard in Kai's voice before. "All my life I could never be myself, I don't even know who I am anymore!"  
  
Silence reigned over them. The birds singing outside just put an emphasis on the silence in the room.  
  
"I made a promise," Kai's voice was back to its normal, calm whisper. He was staring at the sheets that covered him but what was so interesting about those plain white sheets Rei didn't know. "But I broke it."  
  
"What was the promise," Rei inquired.  
  
"That's none of your business." Kai turned away but, a second later, he turned back. "I..I promised that I would be myself."  
  
Rei remained silent, not really knowing what to say.  
  
"I broke the promise and allowed Voltaire to turn me into a cold, heartless, bastard," Kai continued. "Maybe I thought that the only way to be free, to be myself was through death."  
  
"You can be yourself around us!" Rei cried.  
  
"I know, too bad it took me so long to figure it all out. I was searching for a place to belong when I had been there the whole time. Ironic, isn't it? I've been searching for emotions like this yet I had them the whole time."  
  
"So..." Rei started slowly. "Does that mean you're back with us?"  
  
Kai smiled. For once in a very long time he smiled and then nodded.  
  
Rei began grinning widely.  
  
Kai's smile was probably contagious.  
  
"I answered your question now answer mine," Kai gently ordered.  
  
Rei gently leaned over to the phoenix and brushed his lips against the crimson-eyed boy.  
  
Caught in simple ecstasy Time one again seemed to slow down just to witness this moment between the two lovers.  
  
When they pulled apart Rei was grinning like a Cheshire cat.  
  
"Is that a good enough answer for you?"  
  
Kai nodded but then realisation for something they had overlooked crept in.  
  
"Voltaire!" Kai hissed. "He'll be back for me!"  
  
"It doesn't matter," Rei shrugged. "Me, you, Takao, Max and Kenny, together we can beat him. Tala might even switch sides, he seemed pretty humane yesterday.  
  
"Maybe," Kai admitted.  
  
'..You are the phoenix and just like the phoenix even when you're knocked down you'll rise again..'  
  
"Yeah, we can make it," Kai nodded.  
  
'Thanks Hikaru.'  
  
Rei smiled and hugged the phoenix. Kai stiffened automatically but then let himself relax.  
  
"We'll get though this," Rei murmured. "The phoenix always rises."  
  
My search has been long; looking for emotions like this.  
  
These pure feelings must have been asleep within me  
  
When I chase after my dreams, smiles and tears,  
  
I know that I will catch them more often  
  
But sometimes I want to feel the wind and be myself  
  
I want to find a future that no one else's, but all my own  
  
******************  
  
Mizu_Tenshi: That was 'Watashi Rashiku' (Being myself) translated into English. Oh yeah, I don't own that either.  
  
Thank you everyone. The way I ended it sounds like I'm gonna make a sequel, doesn't it? Unfortunately, no, I this thing will stand alone 'til the bitter end. Hope you enjoyed it and look out for more of my fics in the near future.  
  
* The water angel (Mizu_Tenshi) * 


End file.
